Homeschooling through the high school years provides numerous opportunities for parents to invest in the academic growth and spiritual maturity of their teenagers, but how should a parent respond to a teen’s request to attend public school? Perhaps your teen is tired of being homeschooled and wants to venture out into the world of public education. What do you do?
Why Homeschool?
First, remind yourself why you wanted to homeschool your high school student in the first place. A high school education at home provides individualized one-on-one instruction and allows for more time to develop your teenager’s unique skills and talents.
Keeping your high school student at home also provides more opportunities to strengthen family ties and to disciple your teen in spiritual matters. And we can’t forget the importance of a Christ-centered education; homeschooling through the high school years gives your teen the Biblical worldview he or she is going to need to stand strong in a dark world.
While you may know the reasons for choosing to homeschool through the high school years, you may have neglected to share that vision with your teenager. Take some time to talk with your teen about why you think homeschooling him or her right now is so important.
If your teen is still fighting you to attend public school, then start probing his heart to determine what is driving his desire to leave home and enter the public school system. Here are three motivations to prayerfully consider when evaluating the heart of your child and his desire to pursue an education outside of the home.
Missing Social Interaction
First, for many teens, home can feel void of social excitement that is often associated with public school life. While God created all of us with a need for companionship, we need to determine if friendships have become an idol for our teenagers.
Here are some heart-probing questions to think about: Is my teen spending time in God’s Word? Does my teen value the opinion of peers more than my opinion as his parent? From whom does my teen seek approval more- God or peers?
If your teen is struggling with making his or her social life an idol, then public school is not the answer. Instead, pray that God would ignite a passion for Himself within your teen’s heart. Help your teen to see the value of placing a relationship with God above that of relationships with peers.
For some kids, homeschooling does produce a social void, and these teens need help establishing healthy friendships. While building friendships with siblings is important, your teen might need one or two friends outside of the home.
Joining a homeschool support group or co-op is a good place to begin. Start looking for families within your church or homeschool group who have kids your teen’s age and invite the entire family over for dinner. That way your whole family can work on building new friendships together! Don’t forget to remind your teenager of the unique opportunity he has during these years to grow closer to God.
Discontent with Being Home
Another driving force behind a teen’s desire to attend public school is discontentment with being at home. These teens see home as a place for consumption rather than production. They want to break free from the confines of home to experience the excitement they believe public school has to offer.
If your teen seems lazy or unmotivated within the home, then perhaps he is struggling with viewing the home as a place to develop and utilize his interests and talents in a productive way. Help your teenager discover God-given interests that can be put to use during his high school years.
Perhaps your daughter enjoys cooking and would enjoy preparing meals for families in need. Maybe your son has a talent for working with his hands and could start a home business or ministry helping neighbors and friends with small projects.
Does your teen take pleasure in art, writing, organizing events, or working with computers? Any of these interests, through prayer and with God’s guidance, can be turned into useful skills for business or ministry. Let’s give our teens the time and opportunities to develop their God-given interests within our homes to be used for the glory of God!
Academic Boredom
Finally, some teens view the public school system as a place of academic challenge and stimulation. For these kids, homeschooling may not challenge them enough academically, creating what I call “academic boredom.”
These teens are bored with the curriculum and a lack of mental stimulation and challenging discussions. They see the pubic school as a place full of peers and teachers who have time to discuss and debate various concepts with them. Perhaps Mom and Dad are busy caring for and educating younger siblings and do not have enough time to invest in the rigorous intellectual discussions their teenager needs, or perhaps the curriculum itself is not challenging enough.
Sometimes overcoming academic boredom is as simple as changing curriculum. Allow your teen to have input into what curriculum you use. You may be surprised to find that letting him choose a curriculum that sounds interesting might just be the motivation he needs to get excited about homeschooling again.
Co-ops are another great option for academically bored teens. Co-op classes can provide the discussion time your teenager desperately desires and that you cannon provide.
If co-op classes are not available in your area or do not fit into your family’s schedule, then why not host or help coordinate a discussion group with other homeschooled teens? Discussion groups can gather to discuss current events, theological topics, or a book that all the teens are reading. Be creative and let your teen be a part of deciding who should be in the group and what the format and topic of the discussion group should be.
Online classes and community college courses are another great option for academically bored teens. You might also consider hiring an adult or college student to tutor your teen in more rigorous academic subjects. Don’t forget about the resources your local church has! Many older adults would be delighted to help tutor your teenager for free.
What Do You Do?
What if your efforts to help establish healthy friendships, to encourage the use of their interests and talents, or to provide a more rigorous education for your teen fail? Then prayerfully consider the following questions: Is public school really going to provide healthy friendships and social experiences for my teenager? Are my teen’s God-given interests and talents going to be cultivated and utilized at a public school? Is a secular education able to renew my child’s mind with the knowledge of the Lord?
God may intend for your teen to find greater intimacy with Christ through this season of loneliness. Perhaps a less rigorous education will allow for time to develop a skill or to venture out into other areas that your teen might not otherwise have time for.
I’m guessing that as a parent, your desire is for your teenager to flourish in his faith, not just survive the high school years. Remember that God knows what your teenager needs socially, spiritually, physically, and academically. Trust Him to provide for your teen in His timing.
This article was originally published in The Old Schoolhouse magazine.
Leave a Reply